Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Who Am I?

I started out thinking this would be the place for me to be brutally honest and say things I would never say without the comfort of anonymity. However, it did not take me long to decide what things I would conceal and what things I would not. I was thinking I would conceal the fact that I am in a relationship. I don't know, maybe I thought it would make me more interesting or more pitiable or make fat girls feel like they could relate better. I guess that was presumptuous.

Fat girls come in all walks of life. I'm married. I am really happily married. I am completely in love with my husband and he with me. No kids, we're young yet. We've been married three years.

The big girl blogs have all been about terrible marriages or the singles. I guess I thought more fat girls would like me if I gave the illusion of singleness. It's so easy to hate people who are happy. I am happy. Please don't hate me.

It still gets lonely being fat. I don't want to burden my husband with my dissatisfaction with myself. He loves me just the way I am. However, I can't help feeling insecure about my body. He thinks I am sexy but he also thinks skinny girls are sexy.

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