I've noticed that a lot of the other big girl blogs are about a weight loss journey. This is not. I may or may not lose weight. Of course I would like to. I like to say I'm motivated by health reasons but really I want to look different. Actually, I want to look how I imagine myself looking. I don't recognize myself. The way I look is not how I picture myself.
There are a couple moments in the decent to fatness that were signs I wish I heeded. While I have always been fat, I've never been this fat before.
Awhile ago, I don't know, maybe two years ago, I notice that the fat roll on my back got big enough to touch my back; I could feel my fat rolls touching.
The other big wake-up was sometimes in the past year. I was on an airplane and my thighs and hips squished out into the seat next to me. I couldn't really put down the arm rest. That had never happened before. I started noticing that other seats were snug, too. That's a whole new level of fatness. It's not just about wanting to wear cute clothes. I want to have a normal life. I want to fit in chairs.