Tuesday, October 6, 2009


I just feel really down and hopeless today.

I don't know if it's weight related or not. I just feel overwhelmed.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

I asked for it...

I had so much guilt about being successful with dieting while watching my peer bloggers struggle.

Now I've gained back all the wait I lost. Yesterday I binged on chips and dip, pizza, blue cheese, and desserts. Then I got home and ate a gigantic piece of pepperoni pizza with blue cheese (and I'm a vegetarian) mere moments before going to bed.

Today I woke up resolved to be better. I worked out on the Wii for 45 minutes, I had yogurt and a banana for breakfast. I was tracking my points and I felt good. However, we had brought home almost an entire pizza left over from the in-law dinner yesterday. I told myself I wouldn't eat it - that there were plenty of delicious and healthy foods I would have instead. Nope. I ate the pizza and more blue cheese and then a brownie. I've been eating all day.

Now I am upset about how much I ate but I am also worried about food in the fridge going to waste. I need to not eat it just because I think it will get wasted. I should only eat if I am hungry. I'd like to see that happen.

I feel so defeated. I also feel out of control of other areas of my life as well. I need to get a grip.