Saturday, March 28, 2009

Weight Worries

I have always been worried about my weight. However, when there is someone else in the equation, you start to worry about their health.

I wonder if overweight people often end up together. My husband and I were both this way before we met. Well, looking back, I wasn't as bad as I am now. He fluctuates a lot, but it can be hard to tell when I'm around him all the time - even where there's a 50lb difference. I don't really realize it until I look into photos.

Anyway, I'm worried about him. He's really unhealthy. I'm scared that he's going to die before he's 50. He might get diabetes. He never goes to doctors, so who knows how serious this is. I am scared, though. I'm really really scared.

I wish I could be a good influence on him but instead he ends up being a bad influence on me. He won't go for walks. I end up using food as a sign of affection - I get him treats to show him I love him. I'm just like my mother in that regard - though she never hesitated to tell me how fat and unattractive I was. The treats she got weren't usually for me.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Long time, no blog

I can't believe this is my first post of the new year. Oh well, it isn't as if I have any followers.

I found out that this has already been done. Some fat woman from Australia or something like this did do a blog about being fat and losing weight and became really famous. Somehow I had missed that in all my quests for blogs about fat girls.

I guess the difference is that her blog was about dieting, not about being fat.

Also, I did gain weight over the holidays, but I am still 20 lbs below where I was a year ago. I've gained back about 7lbs, but I am determined to lose it. Even typing that felt like a lie. I'm not that determined, but I do want it.